Addiction

umm Lets see.. currently am going thru with a divorce which is a result of my drugs and drinking. A Condensed version for ya viewing pleasure..............Same ole love story, boy finds beer, boy loves beer. Soon he finds whiskey, by age 12 he has a bottle of whiskey hidden in the mens restroom ceiling at the church his family attends. Things progress from there. Decides to get married at 23, during a lapse in his drinking, cause his truck is in the shop, from where he passed out drunk and went thru the windshield after it suddenly stopped after it hit a ditch. He and his wife has a baby, He slowly slides back into his alcohol and finds meth, Boy likes meth, he can stay up longer and drink more( can we say insane?). On a night 7 years into their marriage that he should not even be driving, he is being unfaithful. A sin that would haunt him, making him lower than dirt, in his own eyes. How he felt about himself, is how he treated his family. finally one morning when his daughter looks at him with fear in her eyes, he knows something has to be done. The meth and crack and whatever else he finds that make him "go", finally has to go. His wife no longer knows him or even wants to. Sleeping in his sisters washroom, his stepdaughter invites him to church. with guarded heart he goes and does not like it, but for some reason he returns, A voice in his head keeps telling him to get clean. It scared him, as that would change the way he lived altogether. Finally he shouts. "Ok God!! I put the drugs down!! Happy?? That was January of 04.
He decided he would try and change his life, So he was baptized and gave it all to God.
Apparently God not think so. The voice keep on, Stop drinking!, He said "i will cut back". In a moment he will never forget the voice became almost audible. No, Stop!!
It scared him, The next day was the first sober day he had in a long time. That was July 27, 2004. God delivered him from the chemical addictions. Now he tries to live a little better everyday, to help someone else when he can.
I go to church on Friday Nights for Celebrate Recovery, Wednesday Nights leading a 12 step group, and then of course on Sundays. .. These meetings are different but all hold the two keys that i need to make it. First and foremost God.. Without him all is lost for me, HE is my center now. Not Robert. Second is the fellowship and accountability of my Forever family and other people who have Hurts, Habits and Hangups.
I have a new addiction if you will, I love to see the changes God makes in peoples lives. At C.R. it comes in yes, chemical addictions but oh so much more. God is an awesome God!!

On a more recent note, I have taken over the cooking for the summer @ Celebrate Recovery, I am trying new things, that i normally would not at my house, lol, lots of fun when its not your money, I have been having a great deal of fun with that.... I started dating a wonderful woman. that challenges me to stay out of my comfort zone. To be a better man, She says she learns a lot from me, In truth, I have learned a great deal from her. I almost married her, but after 17 years in a previous marriage. I found I was not ready for that yet, and called it off. Causing some heartache now, But saving her and myself much more down the road.... and the story continues............ I am dating my ex-wife now and even joined a Dynamic Marriage Class, which is geared more for couple that have been thru some bad things. It is extremely in depth and keeps us on edge. but it has opened up a way to communicate honestly with each other. IF we succeed in this program, Our hopes are to re-marry.
I would then Give my house to our oldest daughter who now lives in California and wants to come home with her family. (Woo-Hoo. Grandson!. I will continue to trust in God To direct our footsteps.

Very hard to say, I spent so much time destroying what I liked,Oh and I am finding out that I love to cook. .... Peace of Mind

Friday Night Celebrate Recovery. Good Books


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Smoking............lol never knew it stinks, until I quit..., People that need a sign around there neck(get that way myself sometimes)
Cancer..................

Bible,
Anything by Stephen Lawhead,Stephen King,and Dean Koontz....

Baby Got Book - OFFICIAL Director's Cut

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The Passion of the Christ, Freedom Writters,
Goonies, Short Circuit...... Wow i just aged myself with them :P

Do love/like fishing,

trying to develop new ones.. any ideas? Really I need some.

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Robert
Birthday:	June 24, 1968
Birthplace:	Rochester N.Y.
Current Location:	Louisiana
Eye Color:	Brown
Hair Color:	Brown
Height:	5' 6"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Right
Your Heritage:	Heinz 57
The Shoes You Wore Today:	work boots
Your Weakness:	chocolate
Your Fears:	dieing alone
Your Perfect Pizza:	Everything except the fish
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Get family back together
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	err....
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Thank you God..
Your Best Physical Feature:	err............. not sure
Your Bedtime:	9ish
Your Most Missed Memory:	Spending time with my mother who passed away
Pepsi or Coke:	Diet Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King:	BK Texas Whoper
Single or Group Dates:	err.... both?
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	YUCK
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Coffee
Do you Smoke:	no(Thank God)
Do you Swear:	I try very hard not to. So........ No
Do you Sing:	I try, but even the hot water leaves when i sing in shower
Do you Shower Daily:	Yes
Have you Been in Love:	Yes
Do you want to go to College:	somewhat
Do you want to get Married:	Yes/Am
Do you belive in yourself:	I have convidence in my abilities at work
Do you get Motion Sickness:	no
Do you think you are Attractive:	only when i try
Are you a Health Freak:	I eat fried foods, Everyday!! Woo Hoo!!!.
Do you get along with your Parents:	Yes
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Yes
Do you play an Instrument:	no
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	NO
In the past month have you Smoked:	NO
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	NO
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	Yes, with my wife, Its very important night for us
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Unfotunitely........yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	No, a box of Chewy Toll House chocolate chips!
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	err... I don`t think so :P
In the past month have you been on Stage:	no
In the past month have you been Dumped:	no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	Don`t ya have to be Skinny to do that? lol, no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	no
Ever been Drunk:	1 time. It lasted for many years
Ever been called a Tease:	no
Ever been Beaten up:	yes
Ever Shoplifted:	yes
How do you want to Die:	Quitely, like Granpa, not like his passengers screaming!
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	A better Husband, Father and friend
What country would you most like to Visit:	Ireland
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	brown
Favourite Hair Color:	brown
Short or Long Hair:	long
Height:	between 5' and 5' 6"
Weight:	whatever she is comfortable with
Best Clothing Style:	..............what style
Number of Drugs I have taken:	a fair amount
Number of CDs I own:	umm.... bunches?
Number of Piercings:	none
Number of Tattoos:	none
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	I can not put a number to it
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

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