AddictionTribe.com | Users- Richl99 Profile

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Richl99

" ~ Honesty ~ Openmindedness ~ Willingness ~ "

My URL: http://www.addictiontribe.com/Richl99

JOB:	Self employed

SMOKE:

SOBER SINCE:

.03.18.2008

RELIGION:

Not Religious

ORIENTATION:

Straight

DATING STATUS:

Looking

MEMBER SINCE:

June 11, 2008

POINTS:

[ 434 ]

GENDER:

Male

LOCATION:

Connecticut, United States

AGE:

VIEWS:

STAR SIGN:

Aries

LAST LOGIN:

08.05.08

MY GALLERY

MY FRIENDS

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ABOUT ME

I'm a music journalist.

On my 4th Step at the moment!
Lots of writing... sheeesh!

OK... well lets see.
I am coming up on 90 days this weekend. It hasn't been easy but todays a good day. I am living a clean and sober life, have a sponsor, work the steps and have a home group in Greenwich, CT. My implement of destruction of choice is Cocaine.I snorted it only, but it still had became the love of my life. Alcohol was always within arms length. I lived a lifestyle that appeared to be amazingly fun and adventurous to most people on the outside looking in. And it was cool... for a while. The drugs & alcohol worked and did the trick... for a while. I loved where it brought me. I love the scene, the sex, the power, the excitement. All of it. I couldn't get enough of it. I never did anything half ass. If I was gonna do something I would do it 200% or I wouldn't do it at all. Well I was an all-star at using drugs and alcohol and every night became my Superbowl.

Well... laying in my bed, tweaking out, heart pounding fast, sun up and shinning bright... I haven't slept in 48 hours. I was finally sick & tired of being so sick & tired. Sick of isolating by myself at home or running off to the bathroom to use while I was out. It wasn't fun any longer, it was necessary. I don't remember when it crossed over from being enjoyable to becoming what I though about all the time. I scheduled everything in my life around my using. I let my using come before anything and anyone else in my life. That is not the kind of person or father I always was. Substances had kidnapped & destroyed that person.

Well I guess after losing my high paying corporate job, losing my wife, becoming unhealthy (finding out I had Diabetes), getting in dire financial straits and not always being available to my kids I finally surrender.

I have finally had enough pain & misery.

I checked myself into Silver Hill Hospital in New Canaan, CT on March 18, ten days before my 45th birthday and went through the 28 day transitional living program. I trully believe this brave move saved my life. I have embraced recovery and I am holding on for dear life. I still have my loving kids in my life and that's what keeps me going. I am still dealing with my divorce, selling my house, my diabetes and well all the other crap that was in the path of my destruction. But now I have a higher power in my life and all of the people that were hit by the shrapnel as a result of my using will ultimately decide whether or not to forgive me as I clean house.

I will try my best to do the next right thing. All I l know is that I will go to a meeting today and if I feel like picking up. I will call my sponsor or another addict or alcoholic first.

I don't have a relapse in me. Going back out there and testing the waters again is not a requirement, though it seems so many go that route. I know that I don't have to. I don't think I can survive it. And so I am a proud member of AA, NA & SAA. If there were more days in the week I'm quite sure I could be a member of even more fellowships, lol.

Well... thats the quick version of why I am here. If you actually read this... thank you. It helped me to write it. I share honestly today. In fact I try to be honest in all my affairs today. When I first heard someone talk about Honesty, Openmindedness & Willingness... it stuck with me.

I think about those three words everyday. I say the serenity prayer many times a day. Some days more than others. But Today... today I am doing ok.

Just for today I will be unafraid, my thoughts will be on my new associations, people who are not using and who have found a new way of life. So long as I follow that way, I have nothing to fear.

Just for today!.

Playing lots of guitar these days
& yeah... Hittin' lots of meetings =)

LIKES

~ Live Music ~

~ S E R E N I T Y * N O W ~

DISLIKES

I can deal w/o the Drama

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SHOWING LAST 5 of 73 ENTRIES

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From: Preciosa

August 26, 2008, 7:42 am

Just wondering how life's treating you these days...come on by let me know how your doing! TC Heide

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He died for me, I'll live for Him!

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From: Preciosa

August 24, 2008, 8:13 pm

MyHotComments

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He died for me, I'll live for Him!

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From: Paris5_Blues

August 24, 2008, 1:21 am

find and share recovery images at anonymousspace.com

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What The World Needs Now: Is Love Sweet Love

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From: Paris5_Blues

August 18, 2008, 2:22 pm

find and share recovery images at anonymousspace.com

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What The World Needs Now: Is Love Sweet Love

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From: Paris5_Blues

August 15, 2008, 10:30 am

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What The World Needs Now: Is Love Sweet Love

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MUSIC

I like it all!
Rock-n-Roll~
Jam Bands

BOOKS

MOVIES

HOBBIES

Guitar ~ Writing ~ Seeing Live Music

MY BLOGS

S H A M E

July 6, 2008, 12:42 pm

I met war today He showed his damaged face in the light of day When bone crushed buildings fell and lives gave way Shame I met war today A crouching coward danced a death parade When
countless dreams were lost and lives

..... [ READ MORE ]

A New Beginning...

June 30, 2008, 1:27 pm

90 Day Anniversary Night Tonight

June 26, 2008, 9:57 am

I�ve Lost My Father...

June 24, 2008, 5:17 am

Not at Bonnaroo...

June 13, 2008, 3:56 pm

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