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GOD'S help we may C.O.P.E.with anything.
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By:
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flush
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Mood:
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Full of life
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Date:
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Jan 27, 2008
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Music:
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CLEAN AT ALL COST.
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Hello,I
am
an
addict
named
joe
t
flush.Isn't
it
wonderful
that
thousands
and
hundreds
of
thousands
of
people
have
a
common
bond
in
recovery.Looking
back
at
those
last
desperate
days
before
I
came
to
the
Proram,I
remember
more
then
anything
the
feelings
of
loneliness
and
isolation.Even
when
I
was
surrounded
by
my
fellowpeers,and
my
family.I
still
had
that
sense
of
"aloneness"which
is
still
overwhelming.Even
when
I
tried
to
act
sociable
and
wore
the
mask
of
cheerfulness.I
usually
felt
a
terrible
anger
of
not
belonging.I
have
to
stop
and
ask
myself,"Will
I
ever
forget
the
misery
of
"being
alone
in
a
crow?".Today
,I
thank
God
for
the
greatest
single
joy
that
has
come
to
me
outside
of
my
clean-time-the
feeling
that
I
am
no
longer
alone.May
I
not
assume
that
loneliness
will
vanish
overnight.May
I
know
that
there
will
be
a
lonely
time
during
recovery,
especially
since
I
must
pull
away
from
my
former
junkie
friends
or
useing
buddies.I
pary
that
you
,and
mysafe
keep
meeting
and
finding
new
friends
in
are
recovery.Why
do
I
FEEL
SO
LONELY
ALL
THE
TIME?I
just
can't
figure
it
out.Loneliness
is
part
of
my
condition,and
it
really
doesn't
have
a
lot
to
do
with
whether
I
am
around
my
fellow
peers
or
not.
I've
,at
times,felt
lonely
in
a
meeting
room
of
addicts.The
essence
of
loneliness
is
isolation
from
self
.As
I
learn
to
know
and
comfortably
accept
myself,silence
can
become
a
friend.I
believe
that
I
had
grown
to
this
level
of
self-acceptance.because
I'm
never
really
truly
alone.There
is
a
catch,of
course.For
years
I
had
wanted
my
own
company
because
I
had
not
liked
myself.I
had
not
been
willing
to
peekbeyond
the
walls
of
my
most
private
and
personal
secrets.And
sometimes
I
wonder
why?I
was
afraid
nothing
would
be
there
but
damage
and
disaopointment.But
I
had
found
out
that
the
program
had
shown
me
that
it
isn't
true/
THERE
IS
NO
DAMAGE,DISAPPOINTMENT.OR
FAILURE
AT
THE
CORE
OF
MY
EXISTENCE.What
it
is
'Iam
a
beautiful
person
doing
the
best
with
the
tools
I
have.As
I
go
on,I
need
never
be
lonely
as
I
once
was.Today.is
"gratitude
day."Today,I
am
thankful
for
my
growth.I
have
a
struggling
soul.It
seems
I
had
struggle
through
addictions
before
I
found
this
program.
And
this
sstruggling
soul
must
eventually
face
the
realities
of
facing
life.If
I
face
the
trails
of
life
alone
I
will
fall.But
if
I
make
my
will
one
with
the
Divine
Will
in
the
third
step,nothing
will
be
too
much
to
bear.nothing
will
be
too
much
to
bear.After
taking
this
step.I
had
realized
that
I
am
one
with
God
and
need
struggle
alone
no
longer.Sisters
and
Brothers
,you
may
attune
your
will
to
the
Will
of
the
Father;turn
it
all
over
to
Him.Seek
out
God.s
help
so
He
may
draw
you
toward
Himself."You,r
Borther
from
a
nother
Mother.but
Who
father.your
loved
joe
t
flush.
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