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Running and the Queen
Well
hello!
Sorry
I
haven’t
been
around
for
a
while.
I
have
been
away
(physically,
not
mentally)
and
had
too
much
going
on
in
life
to
contribute
anything
to
the
site.
I
don’t
even
know
if
anyone
reads
my
late
night
blogs
–
if
you
do,
thank
you,
it
means
a
lot
to
me. I
have
been
to
London
where
I
met
a
69
year
old
ex-Australian
ballet
performer.
He
has
been
impersonating
the
Queen
and
singing
in
drag
for
35
years.
His
name
was
Peter.
It
was
one
of
those
moments
in
life
that
seem
to
glow.
I
felt
like
a
character
out
of
a
book.
Instead
of
watching
movies
I
was
staring
in
one
–
and
that
always
feels
good.
He
was
a
nice
old
guy
with
kind
and
sad
eyes.
Maybe
“sad”
is
not
the
right
word
–
“experienced,
wise
and
a
little
weary”
might
be
a
better
description.
I
don’t
blame
him.
Dressing
up
and
performing
in
bars
for
half
his
life
must
be
tough.
We
had
a
great
time
and
talked
after
his
show
until
I
had
to
leave.
I
had
an
early
train
to
catch
the
next
morning
and
couldn’t
stay
out
late.
More
to
the
point
I
have
made
a
promise
to
myself
not
to
get
rotten
drunk.
If
I
stayed
any
longer
I
would
have. I
did
a
lot
more
than
meet
drag
queens
in
London,
and
that’s
not
why
I
am
writing.
I
thought
someone
might
get
a
scrap
of
inspiration
from
my
week
away.
If
this
story
is
of
any
help,
feel
free
to
claim
it
as
your
own.I
was
sent
to
London
on
a
training
course
with
work.
I
dread
these
things.
It’s
not
the
23
hours
flying
from
my
home
in
Sydney,
or
the
drama
of
not
being
able
to
sleep
at
the
right
times.
It
was
the
fear
of
meeting
these
new
people
that
worked
with
my
company
in
other
areas.
I
don’t
worry
about
strangers.
I
am
never
shy
with
people
I
will
never
see
again.
These
people
were
different
–
they
know
people
I
know.
Their
impressions
and
opinions
of
me
are
lasting
and
will
me
shared.
These
are
the
moments
I
reach
for
a
drink.
Feeling
nervous
and
anxious,
feeling
out
of
my
depth
–
and
desperate
to
feel
numb.
The
first
day
was
a
disaster.
I
arrived
and
was
outgoing,
funny
and
confident
–
it
is
a
trick
I
have
learned
from
being
in
sales.
You
can
learn
to
come
across
well
and
impress
for
an
hour
or
two
–
but
I
was
with
these
guys
for
4
days!
By
the
sixth
hour
of
the
course
I
was
jetlagged,
insecure
and
was
asked
to
do
a
short
presentation
in
front
of
everyone
about
myself.
The
perfect
storm!I
lost
my
breath,
started
blushing
and
stuttering.
It
was
excruciating.
I
could
hear
the
blood
pumping
in
my
head.
My
lips
went
numb.
People
were
kind
–
pretending
not
to
notice
but
you
could
see
it
in
their
eyes.
They
realized
how
afraid
I
was
–
more
importantly,
I
felt
they
knew
I
didn’t
feel
good
enough
to
be
there.
I
felt
exposed
and
damaged.The
course
finished
at
7pm
that
night.
Three
hours
after
my
presentation.
I
had
been
beating
myself
up
for
the
entire
3
hours
and
hadn’t
heard
a
word
from
the
trainers
at
the
front
of
the
room.
I
needed
a
drink.Have
you
ever
been
so
upset
you
can’t
cry?
All
you
can
do
is
pace
the
room
and
ask
why?
Why
did
I
freeze
up?
Why
am
I
here?
Why
not
get
in
a
cab
and
catch
the
first
plane
home?
I
couldn’t
get
a
drink
because
the
rest
of
the
group
were
in
the
bar
downstairs
–
we
were
30
miles
from
London
on
a
country
estate
and
I
had
no
idea
where
to
get
a
drink.So,
I
did
something
else.
After
being
a
part
of
this
site
and
community
and
listening
to
your
stories
and
encouragement
-
the
lessons
you
guys
have
taught
me
reminded
me
to
pack
some
runners
and
track
pants.
I
put
on
my
exercise
clothes
and
went
running.I
ran
and
ran
(and
walked
a
lot).
I
missed
the
group
dinner.
I
needed
time
to
myself.
I
needed
to
be
kind
to
myself
–
get
my
embarrassment
and
frustration
out
and
then
come
back
to
earth.
I
did
that.The
next
day
I
was
fine
and
balanced.
I
apologized
for
missing
the
dinner
the
night
before
and
blamed
it
on
the
jetlag.
I
had
to
do
3
presentations
that
day
and
did
well.I
also
did
something
important
for
the
following
few
days.
I
attended
the
training
course
–
but
avoided
the
lunches
and
dinners
and
other
social
contact
with
everyone.
Instead
I
went
for
long
walks
and
runs
in
a
country
I
had
never
seen
before.
I
found
narrow
country
lanes,
met
an
inquisitive
horse
or
two.
I
sat
in
a
field
at
sunrise
watch
geese
shepherd
their
babies
to
a
pond.
I
stumbled
upon
a
little
deer
on
a
forest
track
and
talked
to
an
amazing
“old
geezer”
who
had
lived
in
the
area
for
50
years.
I
did
this
twice
a
day.The
point
of
this
story
(and
sorry
for
the
length
of
my
rantings)
–
is
that
I
might
not
be
able
to
change
everything
at
once.
I
can’t
be
more
confident,
more
popular
or
less
inhibited
overnight.
What
I
can
do
is
change
my
behaviour
and
play
to
my
strengths.
That
means
not
falling
into
my
weaknesses
–
getting
blind
drunk
because
it
makes
the
pain
go
away.
The
pain
of
my
embarrassment
of
being
me.By
getting
away
and
seeing
the
world
around
the
conference
I
could
get
a
perspective
to
my
dilemma.
I
was
in
a
beautiful
place,
admiring
an
amazing
world,
on
foot,
twice
a
day.
The
walks
also
gave
me
distance
from
the
group
–
helping
me
stay
more
in
control.
This
distance
helped
me
to
be
more
connected
when
I
was
at
the
course
because
I
was
more
focused
on
the
course.On
the
last
day
a
funny
thing
happened.
The
trainers
came
up
to
me
and
thanked
me
for
my
contribution.
They
said
I
was
outgoing,
thoughtful
and
had
a
key
influence
on
bringing
the
team
together.
You
could
have
knocked
me
down
with
a
feather!
ME!
The
Forrest
Gump
of
the
course!What
I
learned
was:1.
Sometimes
you
are
going
to
make
a
mess
of
things
–
it’s
going
to
be
bad,
but
that
doesn’t
mean
you
are
bad.2.
You
can’t
change
everything
at
once
–
how
you
feel
takes
longer
to
change
than
what
you
do.
If
you
feel
you
are
a
failure,
don’t
beat
yourself
up
over
it
–
focus
on
what
you
can
do
as
a
result
of
that
feeling
and
improve
that
first.
I
could
have
gotten
a
bottle
of
wine
by
room
service
and
got
smashed
–
instead
I
put
on
my
runners
and
beat
myself
up
walking
around
the
English
countryside.
3.
Perspective
is
everything.
You
don’t
get
that
at
the
bottom
of
a
bottle,
end
of
an
ice
pipe
or
tip
of
a
needle.
Get
out
of
the
house
and
go
see
something
worth
looking
at.
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