My boy is 18 tomorow
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By:
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Robert44
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Mood:
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Other
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Date:
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May 02, 2008
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Music:
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None
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Back
in
87
I
used
to
be
in
a
outlaw
bike
club,
most
of
the
the
guys
I
grew
up
with
that
were
still
alive
were
in
different
clubs
and
I
came
back
to
Melbourne
after
working
up
in
the
top
of
Australia,
had
been
up
there
since
77.
After
being
back
in
my
old
stomping
ground
for
a
short
time
met
up
with
old
friend
had
always
ridden
bikes
and
drugs
was
a
big
part
of
my
life
so
a
bike
club
was
a
mix
of
both.
Only
thing
was
I
could
not
handle
a
lot
of
the
sh*t
that
went
on
in
the
club
some
really
sick
sh*t,
but
I
was
to
gutless
to
stop
most
of
it,
but
it
really
screwed
with
my
head. I
was
using
more
and
more.
I
was
one
of
those
sort
of
junkies
that
would
could
never
make
money
used
any
profits
I
made
and
was
generally
got
used
by
those
who
did
make
money. God
I
was
so
f**ked
up.
My
mum
was
struggling
to
look
after
my
youngest
brother
who
was
18
at
the
time,
he
was
using
pills
alot
and
was
very
abusive
towards
her
so
I
took
him
to
live
with
me
I
was
going
to
straiten
him
out.
Hell
I
was
ten
times
more
screwed
up
than
him.
Anyway
while
I
was
out
on
the
piss
with
my
so
call
mates
my
house
burnt
down.
I
was
riding
up
my
street
and
I
could
see
all
these
fire
trucks
and
police
and
being
pretty
drunk
I
all
I
could
think
of
was
sh*t
I'm
gunna
get
done.
My
older
brother
lived
a
few
houses
up
the
road
from
me
and
he
must
of
heard
my
bike
coming
and
was
out
the
front
yelling
for
me
to
come
up
so
I
road
past
my
house
not
even
really
realizing
that
the
fireman
were
in
my
place.
Got
to
my
brothers
and
he
just
said
quick
come
inside.
I
went
in
and
he
sat
me
down
and
said
Craig
is
dead.
I
remember
thinking
what
the
F**k
is
he
talking
about. It
was
a
seriously
screwed
up
time
for
me.
What
a
good
job
I
had
done
looking
after
my
little
brother,
god
I
was
so
proud
of
my
self.
18
living
with
his
big
brother
using
drugs
with
his
big
brother
what
an
example
I
was
and
he
was
dead.
I
took
so
many
drugs,
drank
so
much
and
everyone
just
kept
giving
me
drugs
saying
sorry
about
your
little
brother
and
I
just
kept
taking
them.
Then
my
dad
rang
one
of
about
four
phone
calls
he
made
to
me
over
about
30
years
to
tell
me
my
older
sister
had
died.
In
between
my
little
brother
dieing
and
my
older
sister
who
fell
asleep
while
driving
a
car
and
hit
a
light
pole
had
been
awake
for
3
days,
my
best
mate
blew
his
brains
out.
I
decided
it
was
time
for
me
to
go
as
well
so
I
drove
down
the
beach
and
took
about
200
tabs
of
different
types
of
sleepers
antidepressants,
sh*t
like
that
thinking
I
will
go
to
sleep
and
never
wake
up.
Remember
sayint
to
my
self
I'll
be
with
you
all
soon
(what
a
wanker),
but
I
woke
up.
This
was
most
distressing
so
I
tried
cutting
my
wrists
did
not
know
you
had
to
go
upwards
at
the
time
so
I
was
cutting
across,
made
a
mess
of
my
wrists
bleed
for
a
while
but
no
dieing.
So
I
then
started
up
my
car
and
was
driving
down
the
road
all
over
the
place
(drugs
may
not
of
killed
me
but
I
was
pretty
smashed
still)
and
the
cops
spot
me
and
there
telling
me
to
pull
over
so
I
gave
them
the
finger
and
at
120
K's
turned
the
car
into
a
light
pole,
just
closed
my
eyes.
The
last
thing
I
can
remember
before
waking
up
in
the
hospital
was
being
pulled
out
throw
the
windscreen
of
the
car
and
someone
saying
its
OK
we've
got
you
mate. I
decided
that
I
was
supposed
to
stick
around
and
have
never
tried
to
neck
my
self
in
that
way
again
and
got
the
courage
up
to
leave
the
bike
club
as
well.
It
took
me
a
lot
longer
to
figure
out
I
need
to
give
up
using
drugs
though. And
tomorrow
I
am
going
to
my
son
from
my
first
marraiges
18
birthday.
It
was
actually
him
who
I
first
wanted
to
give
up
using
for
because
I
didn't
want
him
to
grow
up
with
a
nutter
of
a
father
(my
old
man
was
a
bit
unhinged
army
Sargent
dry
drunk).
It
took
me
a
while
but
for
most
of
his
life
I've
been
clean
and
relitively
sane.
I
don't
use
today
for
me
and
even
when
I'm
not
feeling
all
that
great
I
know
that
using
ain't
going
to
make
it
any
better,
but
I
do
know
using
will
make
my
life
unmanageable
and
insane.
I
am
greateful
to
my
children,
to
NA
&
AA
and
the
many
good
people
who
have
helped
me
over
the
years
and
to
my
higher
power
for
giving
me
a
chance
to
really
experience
life. I
hope
to
stick
around
for
many
years
to
come.
Love
you.
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