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Past Few Weeks

By: Ritchie
Mood: Other
Date: May 29, 2008
Music: Johnny Cash


Having spent the last couple of days thinking about the last couple of weeks now seems as good a time as any to get this out my system. 

 Had went to a concert with my cousin and was drinking bottles of water, cousin had beer; no problem both happy with that...until he went to the bar and ordered beers for both of us.  Rather stupidly i drank without looking what i had, even more stupidly thought it's just a beer no bother.

Then it was 3am staggering home when i had to then get up at 7 ouch.  Next night had went to my friends to watch the game and that was me 12 pack in hand, just like nothing had changed.

Last week same cycle football, concerts, hangovers.

Last couple of days I feel i've dragged myself out again, but less confidence about staying off - dont think too much of a bad thing, was maybe becoming too confident before.

Tonight the 2 week beard is gone, front garden has been cut (back garden was cut on Sunday but had to have 2 beers first to prevent throwing up! how ridiculous it that). and hopefully a better understanding of myself.




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VIEWING 1 - 3 OUT OF 3 COMMENTS

From: Maxwell
May 29, 2008, 11:25 pm
Hey Richie, You sound too much like me! Been on the beers for a few weeks now but managed to keep the volume mostly under control while I get ready for the next attempt. I'm ready to go 1st June, how about you and I do this one together and see if that helps? One thing I noticed is that I have to make sure that there is no beer in the house come morning even if that means tipping it down the drain. That way I can resist that steadying first pint! In any case I hope you don't get too down and keep fighting the good (or bad) fight. Take care...

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From: wdstckdr
May 29, 2008, 1:26 pm
There is nothing like experience to teach us about ourselves. BB says I am defenseless against the first drink. We all are. I feel for you and send you my prayers that strength from experience rules. One can look at a slip as a means of getting closer to the state of recovery. A lesson in powerlessness and the reality of the nature of our dilemna. Godspeed, meetings are good. When I slipped last year it was the beginning of what has been a new understanding of myself. It took me 51 years and a whole lotta fighting to finally surrender. But I, like you, like all of us- have only today (tonite over the pond). Godspeed- John

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... the anchor in a relationship drowns in four minutes
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May 29, 2008, 11:43 am
Hi, This happens. Period.  I hate it for you, because I know how you must feel. Just don't keep accepting this behavior from yourself. You can't get stuck there for long, or it will be much harder to move on later. I would get to meetings, and alot for awhile. All the best to you, Paris

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