motive check.......
|
|
|
By:
|
detroitmike
|
|
Mood:
|
Frustrated
|
|
Date:
|
Feb 07, 2010
|
|
Music:
|
None
|
|
|
Having
been
around
the
rooms
of
N
A
i
have
learned
a
lot
about
myself
and
continue
to
learn
more
each
and
every
day,
how
ever
i
am
still
confused
about
alot
of
areas
in
my
life.
being
as
it
was
my
36
b-day
on
the
fifth
of
feb
i
was
able
to
spend
it
clean
with
a
few
close
friendws
in
the
program
and
had
a
blast
clean,
however
when
the
night
was
over
i
did
the
same
as
usual
ended
up
home
alone
to
fend
for
my
own.
i
am
not
totaly
sure
if
i
am
truly
ok
with
being
by
myself
yet.
even
though
it
seems
i
have
always
been
alone.
the
day
after
my
b-day
i
was
able
to
help
a
fellow
suffering
addict
for
whom
is
becoming
a
tru
friend.
i
am
intrested
in
her
in
both
the
friendship
ways
and
the
romantic
ways.
being
that
we
are
about
60
days
apart
in
clean
time
is
allowing
me
to
justify
my
crazy
ass
thinking.
we
both
decided
that
friendship
was
the
most
important
thing
for
us
right
now
and
if
something
happens
it
happens,
(
now
for
those
who
may
think
im
just
horny
do
not
get
it
twisted
i
am
far
from
horny
do
the
the
fact
i
am
also
addicted
to
self
releiving
myself
in
that
way
as
many
times
as
6
times
a
day)
im
simply
lonely
and
am
trying
to
build
friendships.
i
am
also
getting
involved
with
a
mens
group
so
i
can
build
my
foundation
with
an
equal
balance.
Now
i
have
given
my
number
out
to
many
new
comers
and
have
been
getting
more
numbers
with
recovery
behind
them,
its
kinda
of
a
slow
process
for
me
cause
yeah
i
still
have
security
issues
that
i
am
fighting
with
letting
go
of,
(
long
history
of
bad
blood
in
the
area
of
which
i
returned
to
and
not
wanting
to
really
being
here,)
however
i
am
facing
the
demons
here
so
if
i
leave
i
can
return
with
peice
of
mind
knowing
it
has
been
settled.
im
weeding
out
the
unwanted
in
my
recovery
slowly
but
surely.
and
it
is
what
it
is
now
the
reality
of
all
this
is
everything
is
subject
to
change
at
any
given
moment,
i
can
almost
put
a
flight
risk
level
on
myself
if
i
am
not
careful.
i
have
to
accept
what
is
going
on
for
i
am
powerless
over
my
addiction
but
i
am
responsable
for
my
recovery
and
i
need
to
keep
it
simple
cause
the
disease
can
twist
it
in
any
way
nessacary
to
get
my
ass.
| 
