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my first blog post
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By:
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Peej92
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Mood:
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Anxious
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Date:
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Jan 30, 2013
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Music:
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None
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It
has
been
almost
two
months
now.
i
couldnt
remember
at
first
when
i
stopped
because
it
was
kind
of
a
spure
of
the
moment
thing.
But
i
thought
back
and
it
was
right
after
my
boyfriends
birthday
that
i
stopped.
His
birthday
was
december
5th.
so
im
going
to
say
it
was
the
11th.
so
saying
almost
two
months
is
still
accurate
right.?
Anyways,
the
wanting
is
still
there.
everyday,
actually
numerous
times
a
day.
i
can
honestly
say
its
not
wanting
vicodin
or
percocept.
I
just
want
a
xanax
or
something
to
calm
down.
i
feel
so
anxious
all
the
time.
i
mean
dont
get
me
wrong,
i
still
want
the
pain
meds
but
i
find
myself
wishing
for
a
xanax
more. I
hate
feeling
like
im
ruining
my
relationship
because
of
what
im
going
through.
I
cant
even
talk
to
my
partner
about
how
im
feeling
or
what
im
thinking.
it
hasnt
been
two
months
and
he
is
already
sick
of
hearing
about
it.
i
cant
help
that
it
is
what
im
always
thinking
about.
I'm
not
going
to
be
like
this
forever,
just
for
a
little
while
while
i
get
over
the
hard
parts.
but
how
do
you
do
that
when
you
feel
like
you
have
no
one.?
Quiting
has
brought
so
many
insecurities
to
the
surface,
so
many
feelings
and
things
i
tried
so
hard
over
the
years
to
bury.
i
know
i
should
look
into
counseling
or
therapy
but
i
have
tried
all
those
routes
before
and
jason
said
he
would
help
me,
he
said
he
would
be
my
person
through
this
because
he
wanted
me
to
see
myself
how
he
see's
me
but
i
couldnt
do
that
while
on
the
pills.
he
said
he
wouldnt
let
me
fall
because
he
would
catch
me.
well,
i
feel
alone
all
the
time,
i
hate
all
of
these
insecurities
and
feeling
like
he
is
sick
of
me
because
yes
i
am
moopy,
i
dont
have
any
energy,
everything
in
my
body
hurts,
and
im
sorry
but
i
feel
like
im
falling
fast
and
hard
and
i
dont
think
there
is
going
to
be
anyone
there
to
catch
me..
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