not much at all

By: fragilemonster
Mood: Don't know
Date: Dec 27, 2012
Music: Nirvana

  • just finished pigging out on a fruit, jelly and chocolate cream desert he made late last night and am happy to report that there is some left in the bowl for him when he get's up again (he did ALOT of heavy lifting yesterday and is suffering a sore back today) and i have a history of over-consumption.
  • i could have eaten it all - it is soooo yummy. i filled up my non-alcohlic cola drinks while i had the fridge open ~ i'm back onto the artificially sweetened drinks 100% and am currently consuming between 6 - 8 cans per day. i also drink coffee and tea but not water. i have started buying drinking water (we use tank water here) and have already forgetten to drink it. just not trying very hard.
  • like when i was away with a senior friend in another capital city a while ago. i forgot that i don't drink alcohol so we drank a bottle of wine between us every night at the hotel and went out late on the saturday night and had 3 rum and cokes each. both felt it the next day. my friend was tired and achy and i kept reliving the absolute wrongness of the "kiss and cuddle" i had with a charming stranger half my age.

why do i do stupid things like that?

i am so blessed in many ways. i have so very much to lose.

i wonder if i'll ever learn...