in a shell,feel a bit like a fish outa water,im 30 years old going on 60,but really 15-16 through arrested development!yipee!i grew up in a small town in virginia,probably 50 people in my graduating class.everybody knows everybody kinda thing,so we kept up our appearance growing up surface was great,but there was a pink elephant in our living room that no one would ever speak of.EVER.supressing feelings as a child in to teenage years and being an adult led me here,i drank early and hid it,smoked pot like crazy and hid it and eventually met mr.H and smoked that and was chasing the high for years,never understanding why i felt the way i did and not understanding what that stuff was...ugh...17-18 i moved to nashville to do music,it took a while to get in to where i was doing what i loved to do for a living .still using like crazy alc,val,clonze,thc,blow here n there...so i got in this relationship with a woman older than me and little did i know she was a cr@ckhead at the time....believe it or not i never did that with her,the destruction i experienced,emotionally,mentally made me say im not goin to do that one@!but i was sick,REAL SICK and could not walk away from her to take care of myself,co-dependant freak out!this went on for 5 yrs and eventually my sh*t list grew to long and the town got smaller and smaller.i had to move to keep from killing me,her and anyone else involved.A MADMAN!.very tired i moved to l.a.cali,and thought my problems were solved and shortly they followed.....it was me!!!!!aghh.i made new contacts and the using was WAY worse,i met a catylist,got another godshot and i ended up in a treatment center for 4 months paid for by musicares.THEY SAVED MYLIFE along with a bit of willingness on my part. TRULYGRATEFUL!!! brandon
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