October 5, 2008, 2:56 pm

WITCHYS WIKKED GRAPHIX

September 25, 2008, 1:34 pm

I was in his place and am sure that I would never have made it in recovery without the support of my wife. She has found a lot of help through AlAnon and NarAnon meetings. I drank and did a lot of different drugs over 30+ years but my 3 years on crack were a hell I would wish on no one. I hope he will come around for his own sake and your as well. I am know here as Oblio because I finally realized how pointless the drug use was. May you walk in peace, David

September 2, 2008, 9:25 am

Hey my name is dave iam under clean4life i read about your situation u see the disease of addiction can be very scary wene it comes 2 a loved one but you have alot of courge to come out and tell us about it i hope every thing works out but just remeber from my experince he will not quit unless he is ready to just remeber it is not him that does not care it is the disease that does not care

August 26, 2008, 12:18 pm

Sounds like your doing the right thing. I know it's a very tough thing to do esspecially when your heart has been broken by this person and there are children involved but it is for the best. Certainly bringing up the drug use in court they may have him tested on the spot and this may make him mad but remember that a users frame of thought is based around themselves and no one else. It is a selfish illness and once someone is clean and sober they will eventually feel the shame and guilt of all the wrong they have done. Court may make him go to manditory drug counsiling and parent classes if he wants to see his kids. It's hard for some people to quit doing drugs because they don't realize that people, places, and things are what cause the constant addiction. Many also have an underlying mental illness and may use drugs to self medicate. I know in my case this was the deal I drank to not feel depressed and anxiety and it was a vicious circle. Stay strong and no matter what keep putting your foot down because it is not fair for you or your kids to have this huge burden day in and day out. Do you have any local support groups where you live that may help you with legal advice and maybe some counsiling for your own sanity? Also does his parents know how bad of problem he has do they care and if they do have you ever thought of getting together a group of people that he is close with that do not use and having a intervention? Keep your head up your doing the right thing!

August 26, 2008, 11:24 am

I've decided to go to the court and take papers out to stop visitation and communcation, per the issue is that he never shows up 7 weeks stright he would call and say that he was coming and never show. Then 2 weeks ago he just pops up, sees the kids for maybe 10 minutes and the rest of the time in reality trying to feel my head with pity for him. Questioning who I'm seeing and such other questions. In fact the only reason he truly showed up was because the day he chose to call I had my number changed 1st thing that morning, so he couldn't get in touch with us so he had to show and see what was going on. I did end up giving in and giving him the number again stating that his calls saying he's coming and not showing up are over and that he either gets his sh*t together and be there for the kids or stay away. I am the one the only one that has to see there faces each time he's a no show, my heart brakes for them each time. That is why I have chose to do the paper for visitation, being that he never shows up I need to have that on record, and so that our son will not have to continue to be let down each week and all the anger he continues to build up inside because of his fathers no shows. At this point he doesn't need contact or visitation because when he does show up he only spends maybe 5 or 10 minutes with them and that makes him feel better about his self for several more weeks.But leaves the kids more upset because each time he really doesn't make time with them, and they have both seen me outside talking, crying and telling him he needs to be inside spending time with them that they should be 1st on his list.Everything you say to him goes in one ear and out the other. As long as he thinks he can continue doing this nothing will ever change. He has it put in his head that he isn't doing anything wrong.Last night he called after another 2 weeks of being a no show I truly just told him off and what I thought about him. I told him I was tired of seeing him hurt our son and just act as if he doesn't have one, and that if he has gas to go to drunks house's each day and money to drink and get high then his excuses for not having gas are over. I advised him that I would see him court and not to call anymore that he needs help. I plan on in the paper work requesting that he be in AA as well as parenting classes, I can note his drug problem but not sure is that will change anything. Please give me any advice or if you think I'm doing the right thing.......