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OFFLINE
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I
feel
so
alone
in
my
addiction.
I
don't
have
problems
with
alcohol
or
even
nictotine
anymore.
I
am
addicted
to
caffeine,
but
I
think
all
of
society
is.
I
have
never
used
illicit
drugs
and
never
imagined
that
I
would
ever
be
an
addict
of
anything.
I
used
to
consider
myself
a
person
with
integrity
who
possessed
honesty,
now
I
feel
like
a
total
fraud;
living
a
life
that
no
one
knows
about.
I
don't
share
my
addiction
with
anyone
and
feel
like
pain
pills
are
the
only
way
that
I
get
out
of
bed
in
the
morning.
They
are
the
only
thing
that
protects
my
sanity,
my
abilities
and
basically
my
whole
existance.
I
don't
know
how
I
got
here.
I've
never
judged
anyone
for
cocaine,
marijuana,
methamphetamine.
I
just
never
had
any
interest
in
any
of
them.
Is
there
anyone
else
out
there
that
is
like
me?
An
educated
professional
who
is
scared,
a
coward
and
above
all...someone
who
is
in
real
trouble.
--------------------------------------------------------------
"I'll let you see me; I'll covet your regard."
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OFFLINE
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Hello
fbgir,
My
name
is
Jan
(male
despite
name).
I
had
a
serious
addiction
to
benzos
(like
Valium,
Xanax)
and
alcohol,
and
I
relate
to
your
loneliness
and
pain.
I
used
my
substances
to
be
able
to
do
everything
from
talking
on
the
phone
to
being
intimate
with
my
then
wife.
I
lost
it
all,
wife,
career,
etc.
and
continued
to
use
anyway.
The
way
I
got
out
of
the
addiction
trap
was
to
go
to
treatment,
and,
there,
very
releuctantly,
reach
out
in
prayer
to
a
source
of
spiritual
strength
that
I
called
God,
but
didn't
believe
in,
got
honest
about
my
addiction
and
how
it
hurt
me,
and
went
to
12
Step
meetings.
Over
time
without
the
drugs
and
alcohol
and
doing
what
I
just
said,
I
was
able
to
stay
abstinent
and
come
to
believe
that
the
strength
I
developed
to
stay
abstinent
and
live
through
the
pain
and
fear,
was
from
that
source
of
spiritual
strength
that
I
was
communicating
with.
I
am
now
31
years
clean
and
sober.
I
hope
this
helps.
Don't
give
up.
Jan
W.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Two Hatter: Recovering Addictions Counselor
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