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Category: Family & Home
Type: Public
Created: Oct 25, 2012
Members: 8
Views: 880
Location: United States
Group Creator:
Mia200827 ( OFFLINE )
Staying clean and dealing with depression


 I've dealt with depression since I was 11yrs old after I was molested by this man that had burn scars all over his face and he scared me and I remember wishing he'd die for what he did to me and when I was about 14-15yrs old he got beaten to death in a different state. When I found out I felt so guilty because I felt like it was my fault because I wished it for so long that it has happened. I'd have nightmares of him but it was always the same in every nightmare. I'd end up dreaming of that night that man molested me and have to relive everything that happened that night. I started using meth at age 20 once I took the first hit and exhaled I felt suddenly relieved. I started smiling again, I didn't have to worry about nightmares, I felt more normal when I was high then I did when I wasn't high. I was able to hide my addiction from my family and a lot of my friends. I use to get high before goin to spend time with them and no one could tell that there was anything wrong with me. I had a job for almost 7yrs at a gas station until last year they fired me for 1 call no show even though it was my first no call no show since starting with the company 7yrs before. Since then my life hasnt been the same. I don't have a criminal record, never been to jail before but I find myself taking more and more chances to use that I'm not being as careful as I once was. I'm just at a lose as to what to do anymore. I'm hoping I can stay on the right track with my addiction and not relapse, but only time will tell



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