Addiction

I've been trying to quit drinking for about a year now. Each time I've stopped drinking, I've somehow, slowly but surely, gotten back into the habit.



I guess you could call me a functional alcoholic, if that has any meaning or makes any distinction. I've never lost a job or relationship from drinking. I do my work, and despite chronic depression, I maintain a relatively high level of productivity. I've never gotten a DUI or been in trouble with the police. I've never stolen or hurt anyone to get my fix.



I do not think I'm better than those who have perhaps had these experiences. I'm an alcoholic, despite my functionality.



I drink a six pack every day. I drink in the mornings, and though I rarely drink at night,that fact doesn't make much of a difference. Also, I tend to drink alone at home or with my girlfriend. My drinking tends to be a private affair. In fact, when I'm around people I rarely drink because usually I've already gotten my fix for the day.



I came to Addiction Tribe in order to find support and perhaps make some friends who can help me quit. I'm particularly interested in talking to people about the twelve steps and my problems, issues, and concerns about them



I feel like I don't know what I'm doing, in my attempts to quit drinking. It's so new to me, and I know very little about the discipline or willpower or strength or courage that is required to stop drinking. Though I know to take it one day at a time, it all feels very pressing, and I feel desperate to quit. But the question is: will I?



For now, I'm just counting this attempt to reach out to others as an important step towards getting sober.

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