I
learned
yesterday
my
father
would
not
make
it
through
the
weekend.
I
am
feeling
so
many
emotions
right
now.
You
see
my
dad
and
I
were
never
very
close.
I
think
I
never
really
forgave
him
for
leaving
me
at
a
young
age.
He
didn't
abandon
my
brother
and
I.
He
and
my
Mom
divorced
and
it
wasn't
pretty.
It
was
difficult
for
all
of
us,
him
included
I
am
sure.
We
would
get
together
on
the
weekends,
then
every
other
week,
then
only
every
once
in
a
while
he
would
take
us
out
for
icecream.
My
mom
didn't
make
it
easy
for
him
to
be
a
big
part
of
my
growing
up
and
so
my
brother
and
I
never
really
knew
what
it
was
like
to
have
that
special
father
&
son
relationship.
He
re-married,
started
a
beautiful
new
family
and
became
a
Dad
again.
I
have
a
half
sister
&
brother
who
had
him
in
their
lives.
I
am
grateful
for
that.
Grateful
he
was
able
to
be
a
loving
Dad.
A
Grandfather.
Through
the
years
he
would
try
to
reconnect,
but
I
would
be
stubborn.
I
didn't,
deep
down
want
to
forgive
him.
I
didn't
want
to
allow
him
to
get
close
to
me
and
he
didn't
push
it.
I
wanted
to
blame
him
for
the
troubles
I
had
growing
up.
The
struggles
my
brother
has
had
his
entire
life.
I
don't
know
why
I
could
never
let
it
go
fully.
I
want
to
let
him
know
that
I
love
him.
That
I
forgive
him.
That
he
was
a
good
man.
I
can
not
see
him
while
he
lay
dying
today
and
wish
that
I
could
say
one
last
goodbye.
I
wish
I
can
tell
him
that
its
ok.
That
I
know
he
did
his
best.
That
I
know
I
was
not
the
son
I
could
have
been.
That
I
did
not
allow
him
to
break
through
the
barrier
that
I
put
up.
The
wall
I
placed
between
us.
I
wish
I
could
tell
him.
I
want
him
to
know.
I
am
a
father
today.
I
have
learned
many
lessons
from
my
experience.
My
kids
will
not
grow
up
with
out
a
father
they
don't
really
know.
Their
mother
and
I
are
splitting
up,
just
like
my
parents
did
when
I
was
their
age.
But
I
will
not
allow
what
happened
to
me
&
my
Dad
to
ever
happen
to
them.
When
I
pass
there
will
not
be
this
vacant
and
helpless
feeling.
There
is
nothing
more
sacred
than
a
fathers
love
for
a
child.
I
will
choose
to
remember
the
good
times
dad.
The
times
playing
catch
in
Prospect
Park.
The
times
going
out
for
icecream.
I
know
you
tried
Dad!
I
am
trully
sorry.
My
kids
will
learn
about
a
decent
man.
A
father...
a
grandfather.
My
thoughts
are
with
you.
With
tears
I
prey
for
you.
Sleep
peacefully.
I
will
miss
you
Dad.
-
a
son
Father
Its
not
time
to
make
a
change,
Just
relax,
take
it
easy.
Youre
still
young,
thats
your
fault,
Theres
so
much
you
have
to
know.
Find
a
girl,
settle
down,
If
you
want
you
can
marry.
Look
at
me,
I
am
old,
but
Im
happy.
I
was
once
like
you
are
now,
and
I
know
that
its
not
easy,
To
be
calm
when
youve
found
something
going
on.
But
take
your
time,
think
a
lot,
Why,
think
of
everything
youve
got.
For
you
will
still
be
here
tomorrow,
but
your
dreams
may
not.
Son
How
can
I
try
to
explain,
when
I
do
he
turns
away
again.
Its
always
been
the
same,
same
old
story.
From
the
moment
I
could
talk
I
was
ordered
to
listen.
Now
theres
a
way
and
I
know
that
I
have
to
go
away.
I
know
I
have
to
go.
Father
Its
not
time
to
make
a
change,
Just
sit
down,
take
it
slowly.
Youre
still
young,
thats
your
fault,
Theres
so
much
you
have
to
go
through.
Find
a
girl,
settle
down,
If
you
want
you
can
marry.
Look
at
me,
I
am
old,
but
Im
happy.
(son--
away
away
away,
I
know
I
have
to
Make
this
decision
alone
-
no)
Son
All
the
times
that
I
cried,
keeping
all
the
things
I
knew
inside,
Its
hard,
but
its
harder
to
ignore
it.
If
they
were
right,
Id
agree,
but
its
them
you
know
not
me.
Now
theres
a
way
and
I
know
that
I
have
to
go
away.
I
know
I
have
to
go.
(father--
stay
stay
stay,
why
must
you
go
and
Make
this
decision
alone?
)
