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Dferry31
"In love with a user of cocaine and other drugs"
My URL: http://www.addictiontribe.com/dferry31




It's Friday

Mood: Tired
Date: Jun. 27, 2008
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It's Friday, your suppose to look forward to your weekends but I don't because I know before the weekends up he'll show up trying to act like the person I love so much or just to come over and make me feel bad. I guess when your using you make yourself feel better when you put others down and make them feel like it's your fault that they aren't around. I put new dead bolts on my doors several weeks ago due to a guy he brought over to our home the day before he left, yesterday I put no trespassing signs up yesterday. Don't know from day to day if my house may get broke into by the people he hangs around. Is that what users do is act on your emotions, should I take some of the awful things he says to heart, I have started counseling a couple weeks ago, hoping this will help me with my depression and dealing with this whole issue.



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VIEWING 1 - 2 OUT OF 2 COMMENTS

From: dferry31
July 8, 2008, 7:42 am
Thank you for the comment, after I confronted him in regards to the use he canceled my car insurance from being pissed that I claimed he was using with the rough crowd he's been hangin with. I guess when your using you truly don't care about anyone. The hopes of keepin my home I just purchased a year ago are fading, it's hard to get caught up when someone walks out and leaves you a month behind on all the bills. he quit his job as well, seems like he may be getting clean being that he has no money, but then again who knows. He only shows up at our home when he wants love from me, I don't understand that part, he comes to the house and will spend maybe 5 min with our son then the remaining time trying to talk me into that. My daughter and I seen him 1/2 a mile from our home the other day, I was behind him he pulled over but I kept going. That alone is good for me, I want to reach to him but with all the ugly names he's called me, not having anything to do with the kids, and the fact that due to his addiction the kids and I will most likely be homeless soon I just  couldn't pull over I have so much anger and yet love at the sametime. I pray each day that the kids and my life will get better.

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In love with a user of cocaine and other drugs
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From: Kenneth
July 7, 2008, 6:42 am

  Hey ! Hope your weekend went well. It sucks living in fear, I've been there. I was married in a co- dependant relationship for 12 years. We were both users and I an alcoholic. I didn't have the guts to endit 'till I completely hit bottom and checked into rehab. After I got clean She didn't want anything to do with me.

It was a long battle believe me. The sooner you can realize that you need to take care of you the better. Changing the locks was a good mood. You can't predict what he may do when he's high, niether can he. If he's lookin' for a fix he'll do anything to get it. He's not the same person you fell in love with anymore. You can't be responsible for him. He's consumed by his disease and if you don't take care of you, it will consume you too!

He'll try to paint a beautiful picture for you with lies and tell you what you want to hear. You need to detatch yourself from him completely.

Who knows maybe that will help himreach his bottom that much quicker. Hopefully he won't hurt someone else or himself to get there.

I don't say these things to be mean or harsh or whatever. This disease is a killer, no lie. Don't let it drag you down too!!!!

~Peace~

 
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