How
many
mood
changes
can
a
person
have
in
one
day?
Is
it
normal
to
be
up
one
second
down
the
next
and
then
just
in
a
matter
of
moments
feel
as
if
ur
right
back
smack
in
the
throws
of
those
first
few
days
when
your
barely
holding
on......I
feel
as
though
I
don't
know
anything
anymore.
I
am
so
certain
one
second,
and
the
next
I
dont
know
a
damn
thing...
I
listen
at
meetings,
and
I
know
that
early
recovery
is
a
very
fragile
thing,
I
know
that
it
is
not
unique
to
me.
I
am
so
confused,
so
damn
uncertain
about
everything.
I
get
up
every
morning,
and
go
through
my
day,
but
the
nights,
the
nights
are
so
long,
and
it
is
then
I
am
full
of
fear,
I
second
guess
myself,
I
feel
lost
I
feel
alone,
and
so
afraid.
I
know
right
now
I
probably
should
pick
up
the
phone
and
call
my
sponsor,
but
I
just
can't,
I
don't
want
to
wake
her,
or
burden
her,
after
all
it
is
not
an
emergency,
I'm
just
feeling
all
these
emotions
and
I
don't
do
emotions,
at
least
I
didn't
while
I
was
still
using.
Now
here
I
am,
and
I'm
going
crazy
in
my
head,
and
I
don't
even
know
why...I
feel
overwhelmed, surreal,
I
don't
know
who
I
am,
my
purpose,
my
existence,
what
is
it
all
for.
The
highs
and
lows
are
sometimes
co
existing
together
because
I'm
cycling
so
fast
at
times.
Maybe
I
am
crazy
who
knows.
I
don't
even
know
if
what
I
am
writing
makes
a
damn
bit
of
sense
I
just
know
that
I
had
to
write
what
I
am
feeling
somewhere
so
I
could
get
it
out,
so
I
am
writing
it
here,
where
many
of
you
have
much
longer
clean
and
sober
time
than
I
do
and
probably
remember
back
to
the
days
of
early
sobriety
and
can
think
"ya,
I
remember
those
nights,"
and
those
of
you
who
are
still
where
I
am
in
early
recovery,
can
say...."I
know
cuz
thats
how
it
is
for
me
too....I
am
not
the
only
one"...So
while
I
didn't
pick
up
the
phone,
I
did
at
least
do
something,
I
reached
out
to
the
people
who
can
understand
the
best
other
alcoholics/addicts....Did
you
ever
need
to
hear
the
sound
of
someone's
voice
just
to verify
your
own existence?
To
make
sure
you
are
alive,
you
are
real?
That
is
tonight
for
me.....
I
am
so
grateful
for
this
site,
it
is
way
more
theraputic
than
I
ever
imagined....I
am
grateful....that
I
had
a
recovery
left
in
me...I
am
grateful.
So
now
I
am
going
to
end
my
long
day,
get
on
my
knees
and
thank
my
higher
power
for
the
day,
and
pray
for
His
will
for
me
and
for
the
acceptance
to
carry
that
out.
I
pray
for
all
of
you,
too
and
for
the
alcoholic/addict
still
suffering....Good
night....
