well
things
are
not
getting
any
better
today..i
just
wrote
down
how
i'm
feeling,about
what
happened
this
morning..what
part
was
mine..and
man
when
i
looked
at
it..all
i
could
do
was
cry..i'm
having
very
bad
feelings
right
now..about
everything...having
second
thoughts,,,mad
because
my
son
did
what
he
did..which
i'm
sure
to
everyone
else
is
no
big
deal..but
now
some
how
this
has
turned
out
to
be
my
fault..some
lesson...i'm
very
down
on
myself
today
as
you
can
tell..i
can't
stop
crying..i
hate
crying...but
right
now
thats
all
i
have
left..i
feel
so
alone
in
a
room
full
of
people..pointing
at
me
and
reminding
me
that
if
i
as
so
much
as
mess
up
just
once..i
lose
everything..and
maybe
today..that
wouldn't
be
so
bad...am
i
feeling
sorry
for
myself...yes...you
all
don't
need
to
tell
me
that..i
already
know
that..but
my
program
tells
me
that
i
need
to
be
here...so
here
i
am...do
and
say
whatever
makes
you
all
feel
better..because
today
it
don't
matter
at
all...ocw