| Users- old_crazy_woman Blog

"today i choose not to drink i choose to live"

Mood: Don't know
Date: Jun. 11, 2009

well things are not getting any better today..i just wrote down how i'm feeling,about what happened this morning..what part was mine..and man when i looked at it..all i could do was cry..i'm having very bad feelings right now..about everything...having second thoughts,,,mad because my son did what he did..which i'm sure to everyone else is no big deal..but now some how this has turned out to be my fault..some lesson...i'm very down on myself today as you can tell..i can't stop crying..i hate crying...but right now thats all i have left..i feel so alone in a room full of people..pointing at me and reminding me that if i as so much as mess up just once..i lose everything..and maybe today..that wouldn't be so i feeling sorry for all don't need to tell me that..i already know that..but my program tells me that i need to be here i and say whatever makes you all feel better..because today it don't matter at all...ocw


June 11, 2009, 10:22 pm

Sometimes i forget myself in what is happening about me. Then after a while i miss myself and that saddens me. If i ignore it it resurrects all my old feelings and then i am angry, Not sure what your son did or did not do as pain is realtive. Getting stabbed or giving yourself a paper cut is of no mearurable importance. Both are equally horrible in each set of circumastances. Whatever happens don't let your head punish your insides for how people and their attitudes appear to be on the outside. Most certainly never punish yourself everyday so be careful. Time out safe with special friends away from the maddening crowd. Be safe,Liam


Freedom from The Bondage of Self

June 11, 2009, 11:33 am

OK you beautiful lady. Do I have to come down there and shake you? I hope not because it’s way to cold YOU ARE HUMAN! witch means YOU WILL MAKE MISSAKES. I know that when it’s with the one we love we tend to be a lot harder on ourselves then if it were strangers. Been there, done that. The opportunity here is to learn about self. Not that you’re a bad person BECAUSE YOU NOT ! But how or why our feeling, fears and emotions cause us to do the things we do. You are going to be OK and a week (or maybe 3 weeks) from now this will seem like a small bump in the road of life. I know you know all this but if you are like me (and I know that you are) We need to be reminded. I love Bear.   Johnny Wheels   


Life is all about the journey