What
goes
up
must
come
down.
I
was
on
a
spiritual
high
earlier
this
week.
Life
was
falling
into
place.
My
decision
to
divorce
was
met
by
sponsor
and
group
members
with
an
"it's
about
time."
Then
the
clutch
went
out
on
my
car
and
a
week
at
the
beach
turned
into
a
several
hundred
dollar
repair
bill.
Despite
prayer
and
meditation,
I
got
pissed
off
and
into
self
a
little.
Then
my
soon
to
be
ex
cancelled
the
meeting
with
the
therapist
to
talk
exit
strategy
and
looks
like
she
is
going
to
play
hardball.
Guess
it
all
looked
easy.
Didn't
drink
or
use.
Didn't
even
think
about
it
until
a
member
of
my
group
asked
me
if
I
that
had
crossed
my
mind.
Just
simple
growing
pains.
Prayed
for
my
spouses
happiness
and
that
she
finds
her
peace.
Gave
it
to
HP.
also
found
out
that
some
external
boundaries
I
was
asked
to
make
by
frirnd
ended
in
negatives
to
another
person.
Had
to
make
amends
and
look
at
my
part
hard.
Growing
pains
again.
On
the
bright
sida
am
going
to
South
Carolina
with
a
program
friend
to
acquire
4th
of
July
fireworks.
All
in
all
I
have
come
to
the
conclusion
that
gratitude
for
recovery
trumps
all.
All
things
will
pass.
Just
needed
to
write
it
down
and
let
God
have
it.
Peace.
John
even
when
you
are
the
one
making
the
choice
to
leave,
separation
and
divorce
are
still
a
major
event
in
your
life.
there's
all
kinds
of
feelings
to
be
worked
through,
regrets,
anger,
both
at
yourself
for
what
you
did
to
yourself,
at
yourself
for
what
you
did
or
didn't
do
with
your
mate,
and
at
your
mate
for
what
they
did
or
didn't
do
with
you.
there's
relief,
but
it's
tough.
i
left
two
marriages,
and
both
times
were
very
hard
on
me
for
about
3
yrs.
my
advice?
go
to
a
few
extra
meetings,
work
with
your
sponsor,
journal,
and
hang
out
alot
with
friends.
make
new
and
happy
memories
as
a
single,
and
live
each
day
only
for
that
day.
sometimes
it
seems
like
a
magic
web
of
protection
gets
lifted
when
you
separate.
maybe
it's
because
in
the
universe
once
we
are
no
longer
paralyzed
in
negativity
something
has
to
slip
in
there
and
keep
us
miserable.
you
know,
try
to
restore
the
balance
to
bad.
i
guess
i
learned
(the
hard
way)
to
laugh
at
those
times.
only
me
and
my
HP
knew
the
extent
of
things
that
could
and
did
go
wrong,
and
we
shared
an
inside
joke
-
the
alternative
was
to
go
insane,
or
get
an
ulcer
from
trying
to
control
it
all,
including
the
anger
at
the
unfairness
of
it
all.
it
was
hilarious
(on
hindsight
of
course),
once
or
twice,
just
how
many
things
could
happen
at
one
time.
with
separation,
especially
if
it
isn't
of
your
mates
asking,
you
cannot
expect
anything
but
resentment
and
nastiness.
par
for
the
course.
all
you
can
do
is
try
to
navigate
keeping
in
mind
that
what
you
say
and
do
are
the
only
things
that
count
as
you
move
on
in
life.
detaching
from
pity
parties,
a
person
who
feels
wronged...it's
hard.
especially
if
that
person
is
yourself
at
times.
my
ex,
after
years
of
being
a
real
jerk,
emotionally
unavailable,
a
player,
dishonest,
and
passive
aggressive,
actually
spent
four
years
telling
himself
(anyone
else
who
would
listen)
and
occasionally
me
with
a
barb
how
i
did
him
wrong.
the
only
truth
in
that
is
that
i
should
have
left
him
years
before
i
did.
we
went
through
a
very
messy
divorce.
but?
in
some
ways,
it
was
ok.
fair.
reasonable.
it's
just
tougher
than
it
is
for
you
sometimes
for
others
to
let
go,
even
if
they
were
not
happy
or
suited
to
you
either.
