| Users- zencat Blog

"Live and let Live."

Mood: Bored
Date: Sep. 29, 2007
never mind.


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From: lynda
September 29, 2007, 11:18 am

Hey ZC,I am with you on alot of this,being a woman (or man) who has been under the 'power' of an abuser in the past. Last night I went out to dinner with some friends and we have all been relatively recovered for a few years and some did the AA thing every day and needed it just to keep their minds off the sh*t substance (whatever it was/doesn't matter) Sometimes I do feel like I allowed some brainwashing to occur in the first year but I am old enough to have seen through a lot;I think I was a bit shell-shocked after near death a number of times and just wanted to get well. We seemed to all be in agreement that the meetings and 99% of the people we've locked horns with have been negative; We had all been sexually abused to different degrees and getting on my knees is not my favorite idea. Bowing to a power greater than myself....Holds a different meaning for some and it's ugly.

Take what you want and leave the rest? I did that and I have my friends and my life but I really think I might have needed that 'mind-sweep' at the beginning ;I'm still trying to figure out exactly why. I think being human is just a mentally f-ed up condition to begin with and whatever helps make it easier, I'll grab, including self-destruction. I see from your page that you are an artist, so am I and I wasn't thinking creatively (with the booze anyway)... the other stuff was great(shouldn't say that but it's true). I am not a big fan of the BB anymore. I really tried but kept getting repulsed by maybe just the wording (?!) I don't know. The basic tenets are OK and are shared in all 'religions'. If it isn't practical, it isn't spiritual. God? I am not sure about. Really. A creator of all of this? Who the F knows? Best not to think about it too much; it drove Neitszche insane and would anyone because there is no answer( for me). I don't want one. Yeah, I don't. I am going back to sleep. Love Saturdays. We are always changing and this one is a good one and I want to keep it that way!..... just blabbing on,feels good. Thanks. L,Janet XO


'the only life worth living is a life lived for others' A. Einstein