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Darkblade
"The real macoy. Truly banana's."
My URL: http://www.addictiontribe.com/Darkblade

JOB: Engineer
SMOKE: Yes
SOBER SINCE: May 1985
RELIGION: Prefer not disclose
ORIENTATION: Straight
DATING STATUS: Varies
MEMBER SINCE: June 13, 2007
POINTS: [ 1600 ]
GENDER: Female
LOCATION: Arizona, United States
AGE: 44
VIEWS: 227
STAR SIGN: Cancer
LAST LOGIN: 01.07.09




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A grandmother and mother, in my early 40's. Successful. At peace in my life and with my accomplishments.

Eternally grateful for the dream that warned where my choices were leading me, and awfully glad that I listened.
Proud that I have had the courage and sometimes only blind faith to heal, even when that journey took me to the darkest places.



Proud to have three wonderful children with good hearts, strong spirits, intelligent minds, wisdom, and a great sense of humor. Proud that out of the wreckage of a severely abusive and dysfunctional family somehow by the grace of God a good person emerged.


My recovery family - my father, mother, sisters and brothers - those brave enough to accept and face inner battles and stay with them until they reach the other side.

Grateful to have found the steps and brother and sisterhood of Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families (ACOA) in my twenties ~ because from 11-26 this was me:


"Right now, life feels like this. Ripped from my foundation. Aloft. Connected to nothing. Yet, all I need to do is close my eyes and remind myself. You are loved - and in an instant, I am - and then I'm whole again.


I've discovered an inexhaustible source of love and sometimes I feel so guilty. Like someone left the backdoor to heaven unlocked, and I've wandered in and am welcome to stay, despite having cheated death.


You're all welcome here you know. There's room for all of you. Whatever the question, whatever the problem . . . the answer is always love."


d.tkon




Horses. Recovery. Getting to know me. Loving my children and grandsons. Rolling with the changes of life, and reflecting on them (they're like tides of the ocean).




Sitting in my living room watching the sun on the prairie grass in late afternoon, hearing the occasional "moo :)." Paying it forward. Genuine people.





Guys who are strong, intelligent, spiritual, have a great sense of humor, and who are dedicated in recovery - not because I'm looking but because it's inspiring to see a different side of the spectrum from what I knew growing up - mostly sisters and a mother, and the dysfunctional men they got married to.

Sleazy sliders. Halitosis. Smelly bodies. Intense heat or cold. Cold feet. People who are all wind and no substance. Poverty. The insanities and self-deceptions of an active addict. Perverts. Most of my family of origin. My ex-husbands family.



[This member only allows comments from his/her friends.]



SHOWING LAST 5 of 381 ENTRIES [ VIEW ALL 381 ]
From: Maxwell
January 6, 2009, 8:16 pm
Hi Sheila, thanks for your comments. Just to let you have the facts, we do talk about finances frequently, but that does not stop us from trying to do the best for our family even when it bites. I was just having a bit of a groan. I don't compensate for my big problems other than trying to make her happy, she doesn't have to deal with so much really. I don't think it entirely wrong to want a better life even when you can't afford it. I just moan because it is me who has to keep our feet on the ground. If anything, I would wish for more support from her in my times of trouble. Nevertheless, I'm sounding defensive and don't want to. Just you be sure that we share a lot of love. Take care...

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Everyone needs a dream...
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January 4, 2009, 8:44 pm
Hi Sheila and sorry it took so long. Had to visit the Viking story and content that we drove them out of here in 1014. Mind you when they wanted us to become Europeans as part of cold war policy or post war 11 (i can never decide) suddenly we were asked to be of a Celtic race that included Vikings. Couldn't swallow that at all. But it could have been worse. I could have been a Laplander who lost his country under the camouflage of becoming Santa's little Helper's overnight. But if the bible ever had a funny story it was around the gift of prophesy. All the elected and anointed upon the mountain at the appointed time and wham! Camel herders and sh*t shovellers breaking into tongues. Maybe God is Irish and sorta missed by a micro from heaven but you being a practical person might see the miss in effect. Put all the prophets of doom and gloom in their box so to speak. But sure they built hell just for the Irish he he. So hope the family and gCappail (horses) are doing well and the new years brings you all nothing but the best. Lem

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Freedom from The Bondage of Self
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From: lamy
January 4, 2009, 1:05 pm
Thanks so much for your advice ,that's been 96 hours and still going,i didn't think i would do an hour as last year i lasted till 2 am but i asked my God to help me and he has taken a lot of the burden off my shoulders,i am surprising myself ,as my old sponser used to say to me ;even if your arse is falling off you don't drink ever;that made a lot of sense to me because it was so simple ,TAKE CARE

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trying to face this world one day at a time
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From: redman67
December 31, 2008, 11:17 am
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looking for friends
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December 31, 2008, 10:47 am
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Freedom from The Bondage of Self
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SOAD. Metallica. Iron Maiden. Pink Floyd. Led Zepp. Creed. Hatebreed. Disturbed. Godsmack.

Adult Children of Alcoholics.

Asserting Yourself.

The 12 Steps to Self-parenting.

Changing Course.

Boundaries by Pia Melody.

A Gift to Myself.

Healing the Shame that Binds You.

Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately.

Hazelden Books and Recovery Center

Lord of the Rings. Dracula. Braveheart. Horror movies. Romances.

Training mustangs. Hanging with my kids. Computers. Crafts. Construction projects on my property. Listening to music.

December 31, 2008, 3:28 pm
Wish to share with you all a particularly bent New Year wish, Viking style. This cracked me up!  ;P  http://www.sirguillaume.com/samples/Viking-New-Yea r.html
..... [ READ MORE ]


December 25, 2008, 4:08 pm
November 14, 2008, 5:47 pm
October 12, 2008, 10:07 pm
October 8, 2008, 2:15 pm



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